Self-determination and self-respect are the necessary keys most dependent people need to be able to take full responsibility for and control over their own lives. Without these keys, dependent people are like Teddy, a well-educated and talented man who, when he began to be aware of his internal attitudes, said in frustration, "I'm 36, and I still live my life as though someone else is in charge of it." Why does Teddy feel this way? Because he believes others can take care of him and advise and protect him from harm better than he could himself. To feel wholly in charge of himself and his life Teddy must give up the dream that there is someone else who can make it better, who can take total care of him, who can be responsible for him more effectively than he can himself.